im sitting here, engulfed with lies tangled in truth about the reality of who i am, and what my life has entailed. in this moment im overwhelmed by it. trying to finish up an application to one of my hearts deep desires.
"my past wont stop haunting me, in this prison is a fight between who I am and who I use to be. The stone in my side is a grace, for because of it, the flesh of god was offered in my place. You fought the fight in me, you chased me down and finished the race. I was blind but now I see. Jesus you kept the faith in me"
It is sooo hard. So overwhelming to have all the reasons on one page, why I don’t measure up. I cant imagine anyone excepting me, as I am. I am not good enough.
It just engulfs me.
"You faugh the fight in me, you chased me down, and finished the race….Jesus you kept the faith in me"
By no means should I be accepted. But I pray in your name, that I will be. I want to be more for you. I want to serve you. To be alive for you. The core of who I am wants this. I am insanely terrified. Jesus. If this is meant to be, may they see something special in me. Lord, will you just put me on their heart. I need this. I know I don't but I just want to know that I AM special. THAT I CAN serve you. Lord. Jesus please continue to chase me down, to give me anxiety, restlessness until I do what you have called me to do. That you that I just need to follow you and take steps after you and that you will finish what you have called me to.
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