"Don't be afraid, Trust me"

Everyone is so different.  Everyone is on their own journey but yet they are all intertwined.  God created us all uniquely to fit together as human kind.

I am one of those people who do not like huge massive changes.  I have been called to not live in the same country as my boyfriend for the next 9-15 months (not sure yet).  This has not been an easy thing for me.  Lots of inner turmoil.  LOTS of opportunities to trust in my Jesus.

Today as me and Mario figured out our last days together and all that needed to be done, i started getting a tightening in my chest, an anxious panic that i have been fighting for about two months now.

Over and over again "trust me" has been spoken to me, and the phrase "freedom is the ability to choose our attitude".  Do I want to be an encouragement or a hinder to Mario and his ministry.  God has loudly called me to support him as he goes.  Even if that means then end of me and him, and definitely the end of my life as i know it here with my boyfriend.

You see, I am very familiar with being called to not be in the same "physical place" as a loved one.  And oh it was so hard to come to terms then, and its hard to come to terms with now.

As i enter my daily readings tonight I prayed that God would speak comfort to my heart.  Speak something so loudly and so directly to me.  I have a personal saying, "that if God loudly and clearly calls me to something, then i can do anything....ever"

So here are my take aways:

* Leviticus 11:-12  So much of Leviticus is "rules" and "regulations".  That the people of that time probably didn't understand.  now that we have all this modern science and health information we know that eating dead meat can make us sick and touching dead bodies.  It just reminded me why God calls us to do things now and why he gives us "rules and regulations".  Why so much of the old and new testament is spent with telling us how to act and what to do.  God is trying to protect us.  Whethere i undrstand it or not, his way is the best way.

* Mark 5: Mark five is all about trust.  ALL about trust.  A women was so desperate and believed so much in the power of Jesus that she believed that all she needed to do was to touch his cloak and that she would be healed.  Oh there are so many things physically and emotionally that i don't believe that i question and doubt that healing will come to.  Am i really too screwed up for the power of JESUS?!?!?!

The next story is about parents who daughter had died.  Jesus said, "Don't Be afraid.  Just trust me."  What INSANELY powerful worlds.  WHAT INSANELY power words.  Jesus then brought her back to life

WOW.  I am me.  I am not God.  If i stopped reading the story in verse 35, i would think the girl is still dead.  But Jesus knows verse 36 and Jesus just says, "do not be afraid.  Just trust me" while you are waiting till verse 36, or maybe yours or mine chapter ends differently, maybe it ends with heart ache.  Either way the book ends with HEAVEN.  so my big take how is, no matter what my story isn't over, "just trust and dont be afraid".

PSalms 38: a man after Gods own heart, is afflicted and crying out to God.  life is not promised to be easy, so "don't be afraid. Just trust in him".


Ruth